I grew up in Turkey, in a family that was more open than most, in a culture that was far more closed. I absorbed the contradiction early: desire and sensuality is natural, but don't talk about it. Love is everything, but don't need it too much. Be passionate, but keep it contained.

For years I did what a lot of us do. I was building a  solid career  —  management consulting, high performance, always moving. I had relationships. Some of them are beautiful. Most of them ending in the same quiet ache of almost, but not quite.

Then, just before the world stopped in 2019, I stopped too.

I was craving to understand  —  like, really understand  — what drives desire. What evokes eroticism. What love actually looks and feels like when it lives in the body instead of just the mind. So I left the spreadsheets behind and went looking for answers.

What I found changed everything.